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" Well he'd have to be, wouldn't he?" True. Why didn't you do anything about Eric?" I don't know. It just wasn't a top priority. I wasn't even sure Iwanted to." Until tonight." Yeah," I sigh, "until tonight."We keep watching them dance while we slowly work our way to the bottomof the bowl."Terri, you don't have to stay with me, you know." That's okay, unless you want to talk to Gretchen instead."I glance over at where Gretchen's sitting. She's with a bunch of guysand girls, laughing and talking a mile a minute."No. She's enjoying herself, which is why we came in the first place." So tonight is just about her?" Mostly." Nothing for little Patty Conner?" Apparently not. It's probably for the best anyway ... in the long run,we're all better off." That's crap and you know it."It suddenly hits me. I can't watch Eric and Claudette out on the dancefloor anymore. If I have to see them for ten more seconds, I'll freakout. I need to talk to someone who knows me, who understands me.I need my. It’s just not cool to talk about. And word gets around if you do.”“You’d tell?”“No. I would never do that, but you don’t know that for sure.”“Good point. Thanks.”He walked away, and I sighed. In trying to make sure Pam wasn’t uncomfortable with me being in the room, I had made her uncomfortable. I was trying to avoid saying anything at all that might make her uneasy, and was just more or less minding my own business. I decided to talk to her after dinner.My old self would have tried to seek her approval and given her control of the situation and done anything she had asked. Jennifer had driven a stake into that self, and helped me understand why I used to do things. I hadn’t yet fully come up with a way to decide what to do and what not to do, but I was working on it.Part of me wondered whose approval I was seeking. Jennifer’s? Stephanie’s? My own? Not my mom’s at this point, that was for sure. Society’s? God’s? No, certainly not God’s. Thinking about Stephanie reminded me that I.
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